investiledysfunction

I was at a Wegmans, a regional supermarket chain, in NJ earlier today and noticed a small touch which made an impression.  They have checkout lanes which are marked “No Candy Lanes”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Companies spend significant effort attracting new customers and often try lavish loyalty programs, but sometimes, its little gestures that show you understand your customers that make a real impression.  For all those parents who now don’t have to worry about their children begging for candy at checkout, Wegmans has made grocery shopping a bit more pleasant.  And all of this by some simple signs above the checkout lines.

I’d previously written about Time Warner Cable in a prior post (see Time Warner Cable - A Rant on Why I Don’t Like Monopolies) .  In that, I talked about how customer lifetime value doesn’t matter to a monopoly like Time Warner in NYC because in a monopoly, the customer is stuck with you for a lifetime.

Today, I’ll describe (in much less detail) how the matter ended.  Spoiler alert:  Time Warner’s performance got worse (if that is possible).

With my last bill not reflecting the credits it should have received, I called Time Warner over lunch to just inform them of my prior conversations and to get the credit I’d previously been told I’d get.

The summary of my conversation is that Time Warner informed me I wouldn’t get the credits I’d originally been told I’d receive because of Time Warner policy and that the prior customer service representative misspoke.  While I explained that TWC’s policies nor representative misstatements are not my problem, it was to no avail.

The beauty of this situation still remains that I have no choice but to stick with Time Warner Cable.  So once again, monopolies are great (for the company).  It also makes me look forward to the day when I can use the internet as my television.

More generally, this is worth noting for businesses that can lose customers (unlike TWC).  Organic growth is often best enhanced by maintaining existing customers and cross-selling them on new services and products instead of just aiming to acquire new customers.

The idea of customer lifetime value shows that retaining an existing customer is often more profitable than acquiring a new customer.  The math and the logic make a lot of sense unless of course you are a monopoly.  When you are a monopoly, you needn’t worry about retention since your customer is an indentured servant.

Manhattanites know a lot about monopolies or in some instances strong oligopolies.  My least favorite monopolist entity in NYC is Time Warner Cable.  Unfortunately, I’ve had to be tethered to them for the last 8 years.  TWC and I have a thoroughly dysfunctional and abusive relationship where the victim of the abuse is me.  And yet I still keep going back (monopoly).  If I had a choice, I’d have left some time ago for greener pastures but such is life as DirecTV, Dish and others are not viable options (monopoly).

My latest example of TWC’s abuse started this past Sunday when my home internet connection went down.  This is not ideal.  Here is a synopsis of my conversations with them.  (note:  somewhat lengthy)

Sunday afternoon

Me:  My cable modem is not working.

TWC:  Sorry to hear that sir.  Can you unplug it?

Me:  I’ve done that.

TWC:  Please try again and tell me what happens  (insight #1: unplugging modem with TWC on phone is somehow better)

Me:  Still not working

TWC:  Are you sure the connections are secure as we’re showing a signal going to the modem.  (insight #2:  TWC assumes you’re an idiot)

Me: Yes the connections are secure.  I’m pretty sure the modem is broken as it’s just blinking with a single light.

TWC:  That may be it.  Can you bring the modem to 23rd Street to replace it? (insight #3: TWC is the master of the obvious and has little value for my time)

Me: No.  I’d like to setup an appointment.

TWC:  But all you have to do is goto 23rd Street b/w 9-5 or on Saturday. (see insight #3)

Me:  I’d rather you guys came out.

TWC:  Ok - the next appointment is Thursday

Me:  So I am going to be without the Net for the next four days?  Nothing sooner?

TWC:  Nope.  The tech can come out from 10-2, 12-4, or 2-6 on Thursday.  (see insight #3)

Me:  Nothing after business hours?

TWC: No

Me:  Ok, I’ll take 12-4.  I work 5 mins away so can the tech call me when he is 15 minutes away?

TWC:  We can put it in the request but there is no guarantee he/she calls. (insight #4: TWC reps are instructed to say dumb things)

Me:  So you’ll put it in but if they don’t call, I’ll end up missing the appointment.

TWC:  Yes (insight #5:  The irony/stupidity of this conversation is not apparent to both of us)

Me:  That makes no sense.

TWC:  That’s procedure. (insight #6:  TWC has inane procedures)

Me:  Ok whatever.  I’ll take 12-4 Thursday.

 

Fast forward to today, Thursday, July 17th.

3:58pm

Me:  I had an appt from 12-4 today but the rep hasn’t shown up.  Can I reschedule?

TWC:  You’ll have to call back as the rep has until 4pm.

Me:  That’s two minutes away.  

TWC:  Yes, but he has until 4pm so you’d have to call back.

3:59pm

Me (trying to kill time):  That makes no sense.  It’s 1 minute to go.

TWC:  That’s the policy.

Me:  30 more seconds and it’ll be 4pm

4:00pm

Me:  I’d like to reschedule if he is not close. Can you find out where he is?

TWC: No, we’re not able to do that once they are out on the road (insight #7: TWC reps lie)

Me:  You’re telling me that nobody over there can contact a technician on the road to give them updates, inform them of something, etc or the tech can’t call for assistance?

TWC:  Yes (see insight #7)

Me:  That’s ridiculous.  I can’t wait here forever.  Let me talk to someone who can contact the tech.

TWC:  Let me place you on hold (insight #8: TWC hold music is terrible and TWC rep’s lie is now caught)

TWC (new person):  Sorry sir for the wait.  Your technician is running late (really?) and will be there in an hour.

Me:  Geez.  Can you have him call me if he is running even later so I can reschedule?

TWC:   He’s already in the field (please insert prior inane exchange about not being able to guarantee he will call)

4:50pm - Tech arrives cheery/happy with no mention of being late.

4:52pm

Tech:  Your modem doesn’t work.

Me: (thinking to myself: Thanks master of the obvious) You don’t say

Tech:  Yeah.  I’m going to replace it.

Me:  Thanks.   That’s what I’ve been waiting for.

 

4:54pm Tech leaves

They gave me a free month of cable TV but that is pathetic compensation for the nearly 6 hours of my life I will never get back that have been wasted on TWC not to mention the followup calls I will likely make to get requisite credits.

There is not one element of this experience that endears me to TWC.  But given history, I’ll look forward to a repeat of this in about 6 months.  And the customer abuse continues…

Till next time.